The Enlightenment Award (28 November 1998)  "Be it known to all and proclaimed throughout Cyberland that the Author of this site has exhibited the exalted and highly coveted attribute of Enlightenment. . . Take a moment and bask in the warm glow of your own astonishment. . ."  And where, pray tell, were you when I got a "C" in Philosophy 310?
	Iceprincess's Cool Site Award (28 November 1998)  ". . .I have visited your site and found it to be extremely interesting.  The very interesting part is that I'm not really sure whether your page is your opinion or a joke. . ."  Sorry, Iceprincess, but I now have a bona fide certificate of enlightenment and don't  need to explain whether or not I'm serious.  I'll just bask in the warm glow of my own astonishment.
	Tasha's Award of Excellence (28 November 1998) This award, and Tasha's website, are just too sweet for me to employ my pithy, rapier-like wit.  And so I have instituted the "Puppy Dog Rule".  Simply put, it's a sin to kick a puppy dog, unless the cute 'ittle mongrel is a pit bull with designs on one's Achilles tendon, in which case it's perfectly acceptable to kick the cuteness right out of him.  As Tasha does not fall into the later category, I leave her with my thanks.
	WPG Goldsite Award (28 November 1998)  When writing these pages I decide that they would be utterly non-commercial.  It now surprises me how much recognition this website gets from completely commercial websites.  Perhaps I need to rethink this.
	WGB Web Creations' Cool Site Award (29 November 1998)  As these guys have links to tools to assist web designers, I wonder if they were trying to give me a subtle hint.
	Michele's Great Site Award (29 November 1998) I, again, invoke the "Puppy Dog Rule", and refuse to comment on either Michele or her award.  But if you visit her website, expect a longer wait than you did for "Where Are They Now?" to download.
	Exminster Cool Site Award (29 November 1998)  Located "In the Heart of England's Westcountry", Exminster's claim-to-fame is its Devon County Pauper Lunatic Asylum.  And it concerns me that the presenter thinks this website is "cool".
	Truff's Great Site Award (29 November 1998)  "What a riot!!!  I loved it".   And so Truff, too, is subject to "The Puppy Dog Rule".  (I think the lesson to be learned here is that if the presenter says nice things about the web designer, he/she will escape unscathed.  Of course, this boon is granted at the web designers discretion.)
	Great Big Picnic Great Big Silver Award (29 November 1998)  It's great to know that this website beat out 95% of the other websites.  I just want to know if http://www.microsoft.com was in that 95%, and if I should anticipate a hostile takeover attempt.
	The Spell Check Award (29 November 1998) Don't you wish evry website had this award?  I do.
	Funhouse Karaoke Design Award (29 November 1998)  Not only did Steve grant this website the "Funhouse Karaoke Design Award",  but he granted it the Dogboys Link World Cool Site Award as well.  Personally, I think he just liked singing along with the music on this website.  But, oddly enough, after providing it with a hyperlink almost 16% of all visitors were from Australia.  In gratitude I refrain from saying ANYTHING about his award.  Or Australia, either.
	Juno Enterprises Gold Award for Outstanding Quality (29 November 1998)  On first receiving this honor I got very excited.  A bear!  At long last, a bear!  Lions and tigers and bears!  But then I noticed the horns growing out of whatevertheheckitis' head.  Oh, well.  It is, regardless, a handsome award.

 
 

"Fever" by John Davenport and Eddie Cooley First recorded by Elvis on "Elvis Is Back" 3 April 1960