Weirdos & Wackos of the Web Award (29 November 1998)  I like the semantic inclusiveness of this award's name.  But, more importantly, it will be the basis of my insanity defense against any impending legal actions:  "You honor, my client cannot be held accountable for defaming <insert name here>.  He's clearly and certifiably a weirdo and a wacko. . ."
	NervousRat Best of the Web Award (30 November 1998)  OK, to date the website has been awarded a lizard, a funky sheep, a rampant lion, a pair of Siberian tigers,  an unidentified mythological creature, and now a nervous rat.  That's the good part.  The bad part is that I REALLY like the nervous rat.
	Canadian Rednecks Approved Site Award (30 November 1998)  I can now forgive them for exporting Céline Dion (which I'm sure is a NAFTA violation).   Now do something about  all those horn-dogs from Quebec on IRC.  Can you say, "âge/genre/emplacement/cyber"?
	Cyber Platinum Site Award (30 November 1998)  "Your one stop shopping mall".  Yea, another try to establish an internet gateway, but a lot more fun and interesting than Excite or Yahoo!.  And definitely a lot less annoying than Yahoo!.
	MyHotBox Nifty Site Swell Award (30 November 1998)  One's mind boggles over the number of near lewd comments one might make about this award.  But a visitor to their website will see that the presenter has already beat me to it.
	Mirage-Net Oasis Award (1 December 1998)  The couple that own Mirage-Net look too nice for me to make any disparaging comments.  Still, there's too much room for me to say something about the web being a vast wasteland.
	The Lazarus Award of Excellence (1 December 1998)  They placed the website in the "Just a Bit Different" category.  Just a bit?  Please!  A website destined to be involved in ground breaking lawsuits and which offers definitive proof that a music legend assassinated a popular political figure is more than "Just a Bit Different".  Maybe there should be a new category.  Something like, "A  Whole Lot Different, Though Enlightened", and featuring a hyperlink to my legal defense fund webpage.
	Toinbo & Renbo's Excellent Award (1 December 1998)  The Belgian version of "Bill & Ted".   But I like the bodacious award.  "Be excellent to each other.  Party on, dudes!"
	Xau Xi Homepage Award (2 December 1998)  ". . .I just cannot say enough about the contents.  I love your version. . ."  Now this guy has a bea-u-ti-ful webpage of his own, but somehow got saddled with the nickname "Xau Xi", which is Vietnamese for "ugly".  That just goes to show that we in the cyberworld are so-o-o misunderstood.
	Fierce Pick of the Day (2 December 1998)  "The exclusive award for web elitists".  Although this is a daily award, they actually keep the link active for a week.  And I look forward to seeing the website listed under their category "Fiercely Ridiculous".
	The Socrates Award for Homepage Creativity (3 December 1998)  "The life which is unexamined is not worth living".  And the death which is unexamined is called The Warren Commission Report.
	Eccentric's Favorites Award (3 December 1998)  "Eccentric \ik-'sen-trik, ek-\  adj 1: deviating from an established pattern or from accepted usage or conduct. . .".  Yep, that about say it all.  And she attends UNLV, to boot.

 
 

"Too Much" by Lee Rosenberg & Leonard Weinman ©1994 Tune 1000 Corporation First recorded by Elvis as a single 2 September 1956