D Smile's Award of Eternal Fun (3 December 1998)  Evidently there's a large contingent of websurfers from the Netherlands.  That's good.  But I think that Ferdy got stuck on the "Where Are They Now?" page.
	Robin's Prestigious I Like Your Style Award (3 December 1998)  Again, I invoke "The Puppy Dog Rule".  But I shall employ "The Pit Bull Proviso" if I find out that Robin actually attends Wellesley College.
	Bob's Best of the Best Award (4 December 1998)  Microsoft Bob is back, and he's giving out awards. And that's a scary thought.
	Humor Index Two Star Site (4 December 1998)  "Elvis Killed Kennedy is a very original site and I do enjoy the site's. . . premise. . . Suggestions to improve this site: 1) Add something so outlandish that it even sounds ridiculous for a conspiracy theory. . .For example, create some part of the theory so ridiculous, that Oliver  Stone would say, comeon (sic) that's stupid. . ."  Something that would make Oliver Stone say, "Come on, that's stupid"?  Hmm.  Maybe something like proposing that Oswald was the lone gunman?
	Fierce Design Award (4 December 1998)  Presented by an inspired web designer who describes himself as being "a paranoid, ranting Asian male".   He has a Godzilla of a website, which, in comparison, makes "Elvis Killed Kennedy!!!!!" look like "Babe".   And I wish I could design graphics half as well as can he.  Now I'm ranting, and I'm feeling a tad paranoid as well.  Gee, thanks Phil.
	Thought Provoking Site Award (4 December 1998)  The paranoid, ranting Asian male felt generous, and so granted "Elvis Killed Kennedy!!!!!" two awards.   ". . .Your site. . .made me think of the days when I used to come up with such conspiracy theories (at least I hope your site was intended to be humorous!). . ."  My dear ranting, paranoid compadre, this website was intended to be thought provoking, as you have observed.  And I do apologize if I have, in any way, contributed to your paranoia.
	Nebula Interesting Site Award (4 December 1998)  Thus far the website has been described as "kinda sick", "really strange", "enlightened", "just a bit different", "thought provoking" and "fierce".  Now it's "interesting".  And as nebula is defined as, ". . .a slight opacity of the cornea. . ." I understand why that guy needs glasses.
	The WS Award (5 December 1998)  Another voice from the Netherlands.  Someone should write an article on the popularity of the Internet in Northern Europe.  If it wasn't for the responses to this website I'd have no idea.
	HomeGrown Award of Excellence (5 December 1998)  Don't get the wrong idea:  the presenter's website is NOT devoted to the latest techniques in cultivating sinsemilla.  Though among the E-mails I received concerning this site was an accusation that I had been imbibing too much for my own good.
	The Luuk Francken Award of Excellence (5 December 1998)  "A different site, that's for sure!!"  Do these guys from the Netherlands all get together at the same house and surf the web?
	Surfer's Choice Best of the Web Award (6 December 1998)  "Comedy on the genius level, I think?  . . .I think Elmer Fudd did it."  No, I have it on the best authority that Elmer was performing with Bugs Bunny in Don Giovanni in Albuquerque, NM on 22 November 1963, and so couldn't have been part of the plot.  But I do have suspicions about Yosemite Sam.
	NWS-BG Best of the Web Bronze Award (6 December 1998)  Presented by Nielsen Web Sites & Business Graphics.  Now compare the CyberScans award and the NWS-BG Award.  And where will you be going for graphics?  Huh?

 
 

"Always On My Mind" by Wayne Carson, Mark James, & Johnny Christopher First recorded by Elvis as a single 29 March 1972