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Rat tests Mix coffee maker
We're testing an upgraded computerized coffee maker, despite its voice chip's tendency to hit on Debbie, using phrases such as, "Hubba hubba, baby." To be on the safe side, Krinkle the Rat tries the first cup. For tips on good brewing, click the Java Rat pic and thank us later. [6.1.00]
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Take that, space pig!
(Hollywood) - It's funny, clever, perhaps beyond the average viewer's comprehension. No, not our show, but Galaxy Quest. Here, Debbie (as Sigourney Weaver) kicks the stuffing out of an alien who kept staring at her new blouse. [12.27.99]
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White House Visitors
(Washington D.C.) - In this meeting, 25 years ago today. President Gerald Ford (right) greeted former Beatle George Harrison (center) and an unidentifed roadie with a seminal '70s haircut. The roadie was found later, face-down in a plate of gouda and brie and babbling how "the Maharishi done me wrong." [12.13.99]
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What's Going On Up There?
(Champaign/Urbana, IL) - This unretouched screen shot was taken during a Space Shuttle feed. We zoomed in for a closer look (inset image). Is Art Bell right? Is someone trying to keep us from going to Mars? Maybe... Wait! Hear that click? Someone's tapping my phone line! I gotta go! The black helicopters are coming! [12.10.99]
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Navy Releases Goatboy Photo
(Santa Barbara, CA) - Navy officials released this photo from a roll of film originally though to contain only bikini-and-beach images. Nate (aka Goatboy) took it on the last day of his Hawaii vacation. The Navy confiscated the film and, after classifying the swimwear shots, released this single sub shot. Nate says he's going back next year when Millennium swimwear hits the beaches. [12.8.99]
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JPL Explains Mars Lander Loss
(Pasadena, CA) - Jet Propulsion Laboratory experts released this artist's conception of what may have happened to the Mars Lander. NASA officials want to send another probe to invesitgate the possibility of giant lizards on the Red Planet. "We'll build one monster-proof next time, and maybe equip it with a nice Welcome Wagon fruit basket," said a JPL spokesperson. [12.7.99]
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Goatboy Hawaii Trip Cut Short
(Kaanapali, Maui) - His adventure in paradise was cut short when Nate Rodriguez (aka Goatboy) snapped this underwater photo of, well, something. Navy officials sent him packing to the mainland, just in time to take over today for Jym, Debbie, Bob and Scooby, who went missing after the staff Christmas party. Nate got some great bikini shots, too, but the Navy kept that roll of film. [12.6.99]
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Thanksgiving Pageant
(San Jose) - We had several favorable comments on the photo from our Thanksgiving Pageant, with Debbie as The Little Mermaid, Bob as the Sniper on the Shore, and Jym as Pocahontas. For Christmas, we hope to perform "How The Grinch Stole Grandma's Social Security Check." [11.29.99]
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Niners Attempt
Season Salvage
(San Francisco) - With the dynasty in disarray, Niners management announced cheerleaders will play the next five games at Pier 39's Underwater World. "After watching this season, they're already good at holding their breath," said Niners Vice President John York. [12.2.99]
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Undiscovered Beatles Photo
(London) - A 1969 contact sheet found under a tin of shortbread in London's Abbey Road Studios has revealed a previously unknown trio. "They may have been roadies, maybe hangers-on, I'm not sure," said longtime Beatles producer Sir George Martin. "I remember the woman in the hat didn't get along with Yoko, but then, nobody really did," Martin added. [12.1.99]
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Travel Nightmare
(Truk Atoll) - In the idyllic South Pacific, tempers boiled over as standby passengers Wink and Truk-Truk Feldman fought for a seat on a flight to Orlando. Said Truk-Truk: "I wanted to take light rail to the airport, but oh nooooooo, you had to drive!" Meanwhile, their plane left without them. [11.24.99]
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Left on 53rd, Nick
(New York City) - Little Pikachu, star of Pokemon: The First Movie, offers directions to Nicolas Cage, star of Bringing Out The Dead. The pair were on their way to see Pokemon, in theaters everywhere, and if it's playing in Pacifica, bruddah, that's everywhere. This 89-minute commercial means "Pocket Monster" Christmas sales will make Furby look as hip as last year's calendars. [11.15.99]
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Incredible Hulk, Inedible Bulk
[11.11.99] (The White House) - Jym was either at a Superhero Convention or just touring Washington D.C., we're not sure. We do know he shared his Nov. 9th birthday with Lou Ferrigno, aka TV's "The Incredible Hulk." (To avoid lawsuits, Jym goes by the nom de plume "The Inedible Bulk.") Of his trip, Jym offers this advice: "Skip the airline pasta."
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When Penn & Teller attack! (#3 of 3)
[11.4.99] (Lake Sonoma) - OK, we give up. All this week we hoped for a shot of Debbie dragged from her Flint Center seat and into the Penn & Teller show. Just forget it. So here's the final July 4th camping photo, capturing Debbie and Jym hitting the water, after Mr. Coordination fell off the inflatable Space Shuttle and dragged Debbie into the drink.
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What is this, another Star Trek convention?
[10.28.99] (San Jose) - Since the Cher interview went awry, her lawyers and our consultants decided the best way for Jym to pay would be make him be a guest on his own show, with Debbie taking the reins for a day. That she dressed as a Starfleet captain was an added treat.
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How do you like your eggs?
[10.28.99] (Petaluma) - One yahoo goes on the net to sell supermodels' eggs, and every twit with a chicken coop tries to horn in on the business. These two rural beauties' egg broker/agent is named Cletus, so you know you're ready for world-class breeding.
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Location, Location, Location?
[10.22.99] (Cairo) - Old Navy yesterday opened its newest location in the sparsely populated Sahara desert. Within minutes, a Starbucks opened one dune over. Their first customer, a nomadic Bedouin, bought some golf shirts and a Latte Vente.
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Fight Club
[10.20.99] (Hollywood) - It's a violent, headlong rush into mayhem. It's always that way on the 880, and it wasn't much better on the set of "Fight Club," starring Edward Norton (center) and Brad Pitt (right). The unidentified actor (left) was edited out after horrified reactions by a test audience.
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