Teen Clinic of Grass Valley reserves the right to reproduce these questions and answers to benefit others in future publications. Because anonymity is always protected, some letters have been edited.

Archived questions can be accessed by choosing a topic listed below.

Birth Control, Pregnancy, HIV/AIDS-Sexually Transmitted Diseases-Bacterial Vaginosis, Sexuality Education, The Male Body, Sexuality and Orgasms, Other

Q. To whom it may concern:
If I am just coming in for an STI exam, how much would it cost? I don't have much money to pay for it, and I cannot tell my parents. I have only had sex four times, and it was always with the same partner. I don't think I have anything, but I have a new boyfriend now, and I want to make sure before we do anything. Please write me back as soon as possible. Thank you for your time.
A. the cost is Zero, thats right FREE It is good that you are getting checked out - increase your level of safety, use a condom!

Q. I am wanting stats on the mentally challenged and puberty through adulthood. How much danger are they to community, church and others compared with the so called "normal" population in regards to topics like rape, exposure to others, intentional or non-intentional. How much information you could send to me would be greatly appreciated.
A. We welcome your using our library to try to research this topic. I do not have the information in my files. Our library is available 8:30-4:30 Monday - Friday

Q. I am doing a research paper on abortion and used your website on "Knowing The Facts About Abortion." Could you please tell me who wrote that site as I need to use it in my works cited. Thank you for your help.
A. It was written by Planned Parenthood of Houston and Southeast Texas, Inc. staff with some materials from other organizations (for example Alan Guttmacher Institute is cited somewhere in there).

Q. Hi..I am a 15 year old out of South Carolina. I have a question. I have only had sex two times with the same guy and he did have on a condom. The second time we had sex i don’t even claim because he was only in for like 5 or 6 minutes b4 we stopped. The question is though, i have been havin these little soar like things pop up every now and then around (never in though) my vagina. The closest its been to the inside was when it was on the outer lips. The sex happened in late november (98) and late mid december (98). I am actually not quiet sure how long these have been popping up but they always leave after a week or a few days more. They don’t hurt, but if i push it in a little it feels like there’s a bump under there. I am actually not even sure when the first one popped up. Because i was even believing at one time that it popped up b4 me and him had sex. So if thats the case what are these??? (they cant then be std's...) Im sooooo confused. Me and the one i had sex with don’t currently talk anymore, but i need MAJOR help on knowing what these are. PLEASE!~~~~
PS Do you have the url to Columbia's (south carolina) Clinic?? I have never been there but i want to make an appointment via email after I check out there site. thank you much
A. We can't diagnose the bumps on the email so we strongly advise that you call 1-800-230-PLAN and get the clinic closest to you. They should been able to help you. Just so you'll know, if he comes in for 1 minute or 15 minutes you still take a risk for sexually transmitted disease. Take care of yourself and thanks for writing.

Q. Greetings..I am writing because I have a bacterial infection, and I have been to 2 clinics and they said that it wasn't that big of a deal. Well, I am in pain...a dull pain. I need to know how much an office visit is, and how much treatment and testing is. Thanks.
A. If you call 1-800-230-PLAN you can get the Planned Parenthood clinic closest to you. Call them to get the cost of the visit you are describing. It is good that you are being assertive for your own health. Good luck.

Q. I HAVE A QUESTION. I AM DOING A RESEARCH PAPER AND MY TOPIC IS "SHOULD CONTRACEPTIVE DEVICES BE GIVEN TO TEENAGERS AT HIGH SCHOOL CLINICS" YOU MOST PROBABLY AGREE BUT CONSIDERING STATISTICS WHAT ARE THE PRO'S AND CON'S? I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING YOUR RESPONSE.THANK YOU.
A. There are many arguments for and against this. Some people think it goes against the parents' rights for teens to have access to condoms at school. Some believe it will encourage teens to have sex. Some think teens should not have sex and it sends the wrong message.
On the other hand, some believe if you teach sexuality and give good information on why teens should postpone sex until they are older; if good refusal skills are taught; if good sound information on sexuality including sexually transmitted disease and how one gets pregnant is taught --then having immediate access to condoms may help those that chose to have sex protect themselves.
The journal Family Planning Perspectives has had several articles on the results of schools that do distribute condoms. I do not have the citation, but I recall that distributing condoms does not increase the frequency or rate of teens having sex. Check out that journal for your report - we have it in our library.

Q. My girlfriend and I are somewhat curious as to what is happening. She has a very eratic cycle she has had periods within three weeks of each other and has gone as long as six weeks. She is now entering her sixth week and has had feelings like she was getting her period or is on her period but there has been no physical bleeding or menstruating, we are concerned that she may be pregnant. We always use a condom, but there was once about two weeks ago in her fourth week that we used the pull out method, i know it's not reliable but we did it. She also had a urinary tract infection about two and a half weeks ago, so finally our question is what would cause her to be late if she is not pregnant and what would cause her to have those feelings of her period.
A. It would be impossible to accurately give any suggestions of what is going on with your girlfriend physically. We suggest she get a pregnancy test just to be sure it is not a pregnancy and for her to seek a family planning visit. To reach the Planned Parenthood closest to you call 1-800-230 PLAN.

Q. Hi,
I'm a 21 year old female. I haven't ever been to a gynocologist, mainly because I can't afford it, and I haven't had any problems until recently.
I've noticed that about once every 6 months or so, I will get a small bump on my vagina. I isn't painful, and it looks like an ingrown hair or a whitehead or something. It disappears after a few days. I also noticed about 7 months ago that I had these tiny white bumps inside the lips of my vagina. I don't know how long they've been there. They aren't painful, and they look like tiny little whiteheads, too. Are they normal? I'm really scared that it's herpes or warts, and I've put off going to the doctor. I've had unprotected sex with 2 different partners. But, that was over 2 years ago. I haven't had sex since then. And I didn't notice anything at all until last October. So, could I have gotten something 2 years ago, and not have any symptoms until now? If I have an STD, could it have damaged my reproductive organs in the past 2 years, without me having any other problems or symptoms?
I've also looked up information on STDs and none of them sound of look like this. (I am aware that symptoms are different in everyone.) I did read about something called molluscum contagiosum. The bumps sound exactly like those. Where could I get more information on that?
I do know that I need to see a doctor to get a diagnosis, but I can't go until I get enough money together, and I wanted to know what to expect.
A. There is no way to diagnose a STD without a clinical visit. It sounds like you are really worried and anxious about the bumps and we recommend you get a clinical opinion. For the Planned Parenthood clinic closest to you call 1-800-230-PLAN they will be able to tell you the charge to expect. Your city or county health department will have STD clinics that are free of charge and you might consider that. It may be nothing to be concerned about, but if it is you will want treatment so get it checked out.

Q. Hello,
I need help. I think I could be pregnant, but I don't have any of the common symptoms. Here is a list of what has changed over the last few months.
1. I have gained noticeable weight in my stomach
2. I have clear and some times cloudy fluid coming from my breasts. It only comes out if I squeeze them.
3. Thick white discharge
4. What feels like muscle spasms in my lower abdomen
I don't think this is normal for being pregnant, so I thought I would ask. My common law husband and I don't have much money and are barely making it on our own (I am the only one working). I need to see a doctor, but I have no money and my insurance has not been activated yet. Please respond as soon as you can and tell me what my best options are and what you think is wrong with me.
A. You need to take a pregnancy test to see if you are pregnant. We cannot diagnose what is going on with your body on the email. To get the closest Planned Parenthood clinic call 1-800-230-plan. Of course you could use a home pregnancy test. If you are pregnant, it is important to receive prenatal care. Planned Parenthood on Hillcroft provides that service as well as the Harris County Hospital District. Write back if we can help you further.

Q. I AM AN 11 YEAR OLD MALE.HOW SHOULD MY PENIS LOOK WHEN NOT ERECT, HOW SHOULD IT LOOK WHEN ERECT. THANKS.*
A. We have a brochure with this information if it is ok with your parents for us to send it to you. We would need your address. Ask your parents the question you asked us and that may open a very important discussion in your family. If that doesn't sound ok, go to the library or book store and look for a book on sexuality, most sexuality books will have pictures. Are you concerned about something specific?

Q. I am a student in college, and my friends and I would like to write a research paper on planned parenthood. We were wondering if there are any available statistics, or information on parental involvement in the decision making of 16 year old girls. If the parent is involved and talks to the young people, is there less likelihood of a teenager pregnancy. Any information or a web site that you could direct me to, I would really appreciate any impute you may have. Thanking you.
A. I saw an article in the last few years in Family Planning Perspectives journal on this issue but do not have the citation. Look at the web site for SIECUS and also www.plannedparenthood.org and www.teenwire.com You may also want to use a search engine to see if the Family Planning Perspectives article in online.

Q. I was just wondering what the answer to a few questions, I have are.
1. What kind of medical attention should one seek after having a miscarriage?
2. What kind of care do you receive after having a miscarriage?
Thanks
A. You don't say if you had any medical attention when you miscarried. If not, we recommend you seek medical attention and advice.

Q. Dear Whom-ever,
I would like to ask a question? First off, I am 15 years old. I had sex for the first time and didn't use protection, I got pregnant and I had to have an abortion because of my whole situation, my parents didn't want me to have anything to do with him, even if the baby was part of me. Well, now it has been over a year and I would like to know if it would be wrong for me and my boyfriend to make love even if we do use protection? He also didn't know about me being pregnant and having an abortion until he and I got in contact against our parents will. I would also like to know how having had an abortion might complicate my possibilities of having kids when I get older? And my final thing is that he and I still don't know how to talk about the abortion, and how exactly to cope with it, can you give some advice? He has also shown through all this that he really does care about me. Sincerely, In love & confused
A. You ask if it is wrong for you and your boyfriend to have sex. I can't possibly answer that for you. There are many considerations about how it will affect your relationship, how you'll feel about yourself, how you will cope if the relationship ends, what it will add or subtract from the relationship and the way you'll feel about yourself. Is it your idea? Do you feel pressure?
Why not continue what you're doing now without intercourse? You are still dealing with quite a lot as a result of your conflicted feelings about the abortion and I suggest you wait on the sex for a while.
I would recommend you talk to a counselor about some of your feelings. You said you had an abortion even though it was a part of you. To cope with the abortion you must review the life's circumstances that you were in at the time of the pregnancy. You and your parents realized that having a baby at 14 was not in your best interest. The decision you made was a hard one but if you review all of the feelings and the situation at the time, you will probably agree you made the right choice for yourself at the time.
You are still very young and it is essential that you do not find yourself in that situation again. Have you gone to a family planning clinic to learn about birth control? Do not consider intercourse without such a visit. For the clinic closest to you call 1-800-230-PLAN.
Your parents seemed very concerned about your boyfriend. Is he older? Is he right for you? Why can't you tell him about the abortion? What would he say - what do you fear? Parents often know when someone is not right for us even if we don't understand their reasoning.
Having an abortion does not affect your ability to have children in the future. You are obviously fertile - so don't mess around without complete protection. Ask yourself some of the questions I listed above and write back if you want to discuss it further.

-FOLLOWUP CORRESPONDENCE- Q. Dear Whomever,
I did tell my boyfriend, after we communicated behind my parents back. He cried, and was very angry that he didn't have a decision in the matter. My boyfriend isn't that much older, about a month. I didn't feel any pressure when it came time to have sex with him, we both wanted to, it was just that we didn't use any kind of protection. We even discussed things afterward. He even liked the idea of us being parents, but now when we talk about it we know that we couldn't have given our baby a good life, especially at this time. I guess, it's just mainly the fact that I wish I didn't have the abortion. I wish that I could have had the baby and given it up for adoption. Do you understand? Sincerely, In love & confused
A. Thank you for the clarification. I do understand that abortion is a very hard decision. I also know that adoption can be very hard and parenting can be very hard. The unintended pregnancy left you with very hard choices. You now say you may have preferred to keep the pregnancy and plan an adoption. It is now important for you to cope with the decision you and your parents made about ending the pregnancy.
I can send you a booklet on Coping Successfully After An Abortion if you send your address. It might be helpful to talk to a counselor in person. You could call us at 713-831-6587 for post-abortion counseling. It would cost $25.
The booklet says that women may experience many feelings after abortion - relief, gratitude, sadness, anger, guilt, confidence, doubt, depression, renewed energy, remorse, "back to normal", or "no regrets at all". It is important to know your feelings count, no matter what they are.
If the feeling is sadness - then you need to grieve your loss. Grieving comes in stages of: denial - "This can't be happening to me" "I feel numb like it's not real."
depression and anger - "I feel sad, depressed, and tired." "I'm angry that is happening to me."
acceptance - "I accept that it did happen and am finding peace of mind."
People grieve at different rates. To cope with the stages of grief, some suggestions are:
Go ahead and have a good cry. Look at what you gained from the whole experience instead of just dwelling on what you lost. You can feel sad and still know in your heart it may have been for the best. Don't fake and hide behind a front of being strong. Tell your true feelings to someone who will listen. Don't confuse your feelings with your boyfriend's feelings. Be aware of dreamy fantasies about how wonderful it would have been to have a baby. Be realistic and imagine what it REALLY would have been like to stay pregnant, to give birth and to parent or plan an adoption. After planning an adoption, there is a grieving that takes place very similar to after abortion, sometimes it is even harder. If you can't stop hurting yourself with painfully sad fantasies, then see a counselor. Set a limited time of day to grieve and go on with your life. DON'T use the following to cope: don't do drugs, don't eat poorly - too much or too little, don't sleep too much, don't wait too long to see a counselor if you need one and don't try to deny your feeling. Can you tell your parents you still have these feelings? Ask for their help and advice.
As for taking care of your boyfriend's feeling - he may need to talk to a counselor also. He must understand that this is a very hard decision and the female ultimately has to make it for herself. His sadness of being left out of the decision is understandable, he must now accept that and use it as a learning experience to be sure never to allow himself to be in a situation like that again.
Spending time regretting a decision you cannot undo is a waste. Making peace with your past actions can free up precious energy to be used now for more positive direction in your life. It may help to write down exactly what your situation and feelings were at the time you decided to have an abortion. Try to keep it accurate. As memory fades remember what the situation was really like. There will be endless regrets we could torture ourselves with, but we can use our time and energy instead for creating joy in the present and planning for the future. I hope some of this helps. A counselor may help you gain peace. She could help you let go of blaming others, accept responsibility for your actiions, forgive yourself, regain your self-respect, and move on with your life. Be kind to yourself.

Q. It would be nice if you would talk about eating disorders, and what could and does happen to teens who have them. Thankyou
A. Eating disorders can be quite dangerous to people of all ages. There are several types of disorders. Some people binge and then vomit. This can cause damage to the esophagus. Others do not eat enough to maintain their bodies and cause real damage to their internal organs. Our bodies need a certain number of calories to build new cells and to give us the energy we need to sustain life.
Of course some women put themselves at risk from obesity too. Many young women put their health and their lives at risk. If you or a friend has an eating problem, it would be wise to seek the help of a professional counselor. Being told what to do is not always enough to help someone break the cycle of an eating disorder. Exploring body image issues with the counselor and the source of the problem could be very helpful.
Planned Parenthood Federation of America has a new website called TeenWire. It is located at http://www.teenwire.com
You may find some information about self-esteem issues in forums on that site. Additionally, there is information about eating disorders elsewhere on the web that can be found using search engines. Use "eating disorders" in your search line.

Q. hi i am 16 years old female and i have only been sexually active with my boyfriend for about 6- 7 monthes (he was my first, yet he has been with 2-3 others). we have sex anywhere from 3-5 times a month and my mom knows. She has decided to put me on the pill and I am going in a few days to the gynecologist. I am aware of the tests and all that will be run. Although, the only problem that i have as of right now, is that my boyfriend thinks that when i am on the pill, we can have sex without a contraceptive(condom). is this true? Can i have sex without a condom and not get pregnant if he ejaculates in me?? Please reply as soon as possible. Thank you!
A. You have written an important question and it has several parts to the answer. The pill is very effective against pregnancy but not 100%. If the pill is taken absolutely correctly it is about 99% effective and in actual use it is 95% effective. As the doctor will tell you, you need to use a condom for the first month or so on the pill to allow it to start working. Continuing using the condom along with the pill will decrease your risk of pregnancy.
BUT, you said your boyfriend has been with 2 or 3 other people. He may have a sexually transmitted infection (some have no symptoms including the virus that causes AIDS). The pill DOES NOT prevent the spread of sexually transmitted infections and the condom is very important to protect yourself from diseases. So, even though your boyfriend is partly right, he's not completely right. 1. the pill isn't 100% 2. the pill does not protect against sexually transmitted infection. We recommend both the pill and the condom be used together.

Q. I am 17 year old male. Me and my girlfriend have been having sex for over a year (she is 16 years old). Not once has she achieved orgasm during intercourse without stimulation of the clitoris. We've had sex well over 100 times and I've tried several techniques none of which seem to work. Is there anything that I can do to bring her to orgasm? What might be the cause of this?
A. About 70 to 80% of women need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm - this is normal. The way our bodies are made the clitoris does not receive the stimulation it sometimes needs in vaginal intercourse. It is not something to try to achieve - as long as she is orgasmic and pleasured relax!

Q. I'm looking for a site on the net where I can view pictures of Sexually Transmitted Deseases! . Can you help me ????
A. I don't know where there are pictures, but you can find descriptions at
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/sti-safesex/index.html
a possibility is the United States Centers for Disease Control site or use a search engine with the key words "sexually transmitted disease pictures" - put quotations around the key words so that the search is for sites with all the words and not just one or two. Good Luck

Q. what do you do if a condom breaks?
A. Within 72 hours of the condom breakage go to a Planned Parenthood for emergency contraception. Call 1-800-230-PLAN to be connected to the nearest clinic.
There is a new emergency contraception (ec) "package" on the market called Preven. It contains your ec pills, but also a pregnancy test. If you have a private physician, he/she could call in a prescription for you. I just checked with a Walgreens who had it in stock, perhaps other Drug Store chains carry it as well.

Q. I am a 19 year old girl without a mother and I was wondering by what age should a girl be on birth control, even if she isn't sexually active. Thanks for your time.
It is suggested that young women get a pelvic exam and pap smear at 18 years of age if they are sexually active or not. As far as going on birth control, it is only needed if you are having or planning on having sexual intercourse. Some physicians use the pill to help girls regulate their periods or help with heavy cramping. It is wise to be thinking of these questions. Never have sex unprotected (unless you are trying to get pregnant).

Q. I am a sexually active 18 year old female. I am monogamous, and always use condoms. Earlier this year, I had an exam and tried birth control pills. They, however, had adverse side effects, and I chose to discontinue using them. I always use latex condoms, and since I stopped taking the pill my periods have been rather irregular and farther apart. Recently, my partner's condom broke during intercourse, and he immediately withdrew without ejaculating. I am now two days late, based on a rather sketchy 28 day cycle. What should I do, considering pregnancy is not a viable option for me at this point in my life? I am currently in college, and have very limited options financially. I am not sure how I could afford an abortion, but I know I am not mature enough nor capable of bringing a child into the world at this point in my life. Please tell me what I need to do and who I need to contact in the event I do not start in the next few days. thankyou, Concerned
A. The pregnancy test can be given 10-14 days after contraception - so a test 10-14 days after the broken condom would let you know what is going on. You can go to a Planned Parenthood, call 1-800-230-PLAN for the nearest clinic; go to any family planning clinic in your area; or buy an over the counter pregnancy test. A family planning clinic or Planned Parenthood can help you with you options. You can get emergency contraception up to 72 hours after unprotected intercourse. You may want to talk to your clinician about Depo-Provera "the shot" to prevent these scares!

Q. DEAR PPH, I have a question. Well, I had sex with my boyfriend 3 days ago. He wore a condom, but the condom ended up getting stuck inside me and yesterday it came out. Me and him has been really safe about sex until 2 days ago. Can I be pregnant? I need to get checked but isn’t it too early to figure it out? A VERY WORRIED PERSON
A. Emergency Contraception is available within the first 72 hours. A home pregnancy test can be used when you first miss your period or about one week. Talk to your health care provider, or you can be connected to the nearest Planned Parenthood, by calling 1-800-230-PLAN.

Q. I have a question concerning taking the pill. I have read in one place that you must take it a month prior to having sex, and in another place it said you only had to wait a week. How early can a person start having sex after they take the pill? Also, how much does it cost for the examination and the pills? Thanks.
A. At Planned Parenthood of Houston, we tell clients to use a back-up method (condom, diaphragm, etc.) for the first month on the pill. The cost for an initial exam varies from $20 if eligible for income based help to $65 - $100 depending on age, income, the clinic you choose, area of the country, etc.. Call 1-800-230-PLAN to be connected to the clinic nearest you to ask them about their fees.

Q. How many women use the pill?
A. According to "The Best Intentions" by the Insitute of Medicine, 1995. In 1990 - the use of reversible contraception broke out as follows:
49.2 % used oral contraceptives (the pill)
30.6% used condoms
4.8% used a diaphragm
2.4% used and IUD
13% other

of those using reversible and non-reversible:
28% - female sterilization
12% - male sterilization
31% - pill
15% - condom
6% - diaphragm
2% - IUD
6% - other

Q. Dear People of Planned Parenthood,
I am a mother to a beautiful 16 year old daughter. Through my divorce from her father, she decided to live with him. I am now residing in another state and she lives outside of Houston with her dad. She recently told me that she has started having sex and would like to have birth control. We have had many discussions regarding sex, STD's etc. She still chose to have sex.
With my living so far, I am unable to help her get the birth control that she needs. Of course, I recommended that she call Planned Parenthood. She is unable to speak to her father about this because of the repercussions. What can we do? Is there anywhere in Houston that she can go for care with little or no cost? Also, does the State of Texas require that she be accompanied by an adult to receive such care? Help!!! Thank in advance for your assistance.
A. It is great that you and your daughter are able to talk about her reproductive health needs. Planned Parenthood has clinics all over the Houston area. If transportation is not a problem, she could go to our Teen Clinic, which is free. The clinic is located just south of downtown Houston at 3601 Fannin. The phone number is 713/535-2406. Parental permission or notification is not required.

Q. I heard of a birth control pill that is for emergancies. It is a pill I believe that you can take 72 hrs after sex, and it will kill the sperm. I'm not too sure what it is or called...I was wondering if ya knew....I need it fast if it is out there!!!!
A. It is called "emergency contraception", or the "Morning after Pill" and it is only effective for up to 72 hours after unprotected sex. It is available at any Planned Parenthood, call 1-800-230-PLAN to be connected to the nearest Planned Parenthood. You should also be able to get a prescription from your private physician. There are other clinics nationwide that have it available. It is high doses of specific brands of birth control pills.

Q. l recently have been talking with my boyfriend and we decided it would be best for me to start using birth control pills. l have read all the information you have provided at your website, but there is one question l have left that was unanswered. What l need to know is if you do any testing to make sure that someone is not allergic to the birth control pills. l am willing to take them and all, but l just don't want to end up allergic to the pills and have something bad happen to me just to start having sex. So, if you could please answer this, l would greatly appreciate it and thankyou for your time. M.S.
A.Dear M.S.
It is good that you are talking ahead of time.
Clients are monitored for any and all problems with birth control pills - and all other birth control methods. We don't have and allergy test, like one you would use to test for an allergy to chocolate, or cats, but we do take a complete history, which can suggest that birth control pills may not be the best method of contraception for you. The only way to know your options, is to talk to your health care provider. Planned Parenthood has clinics all over the nation. You can call 1-800-230-PLAN and be connected to the clinic nearest you.

HIV/AIDS/STD/BV:

Q. Hi, I am a 17 year old female in the Houston area. I became sexually active at the age of 15. I have had 3 partners. For the last year or so I have had a discharge, it is clear usually, but sometimes its white and chunky. It is constant, except for when I'm on y period. I have heard that if it smells "fishey" you should get it checked out. I don't know if mine smells like that, but it definately has a smell. I have tried 4 different yeast infection medicines and they all have not worked. Could I have an STD? There is no way in the world that I could tell my parents if I need to be tested, but I can afford to pay whatever it takes. What should I do, and what do you think it may be? Thank you for helping me with this question. THANK YOU VERY MUCH I really appreciate that there is a service out there for teens like me.
A. It is possible, and you should have it checked out. Many further problems can develop with an STD that is left untreated. You can call 1-800-230-PLAN to be automatically connected to the Planned Parenthood nearest you, or you can call our Teen Clinic at 530/274-5900 to make an appointment. The Teen Clinic is free, but it is sometimes hard to get an appointment. Other sites are low-cost, and may be more convenient for you depending on where you live. All services are confidential.

Q. I need to find a PP near me. Do you do the HSV blood tests for partners of people tested positive for Herpes? All of the STD clinics here do not screen for Herpes using the blood tests and my partner and myself have never had any lesions. Mine was found by a cervical biopsy I had done.
A. Planned Parenthood can do a herpes antibody test, but many people will have a positive test for the antibody because of past exposure to chicken pox or cold sores. The test will not tell you if he has genital herpes. The only reliable test is to culture a lesion - which he doesn't have. Thanks for writing.

Q. I am a 16 yr. old female virgin. I have small bumps around my vagina and my pubic area which sometimes itch. I've had them for a couple of months and am concerned that I may have an STD, but don't know how I could have gotten it. I'm really embarrassed by this. If, in fact, this is a STD, where could I go to get it treated without my parents finding out? (I don't live in Texas.) And how much would it cost?
A. Since there are many reasons a girl can have bumps around the vagina (heat, hair follicles, shaving, etc.) you should try not to be embarrassed and feel comfortable asking you family doctor about the condition. If virgin means no vaginal or oral sexual activity in any way, then it is not sexually transmitted. You can call 1-800-230-PLAN to be connected to the nearest Planned Parenthood if you don't have a health care provider, or are not comfortable asking your family doctor. Planned Parenthood is confidential, and will not tell you parents. The city or county STD & family planning clinics could also help you.

Q. I had anal sex with my boyfriend for the 1st time a couple of weeks ago. About 3 days ago I started having a clear discharge coming from my anus. He says he doesn't have any std's. This is the only symptom I have but it is getting worse and I feel like it is getting all over my clothes. I was wondering if you could tell me what this might be and if it is normal.. I was wondering if it might be semen or a s t d? Thank you
A. My strong recommendation is for you to get an exam at a family planning or STD clinic. I can't tell what might be causing your problem, but do feel it should be checked by a professional. You can call 1-800-230-PLAN to be automatically connected to the nearest Planned Parenthood. Please use condoms.

Q. Hello,
I'm a 23 year old male, and I have recently had unprotected sex with a lady of questionable character. I need to know of clinics in Houston that I may go to get a full STD and HIV test (I understand that I must follow up an HIV test in 6 months). If you could send me a list, I would be so grateful. You can post this question, and since I'm using an alias email please email me back.
A. I'm glad you are getting tested, this protects you and any future partners. Planned Parenthood tests both anonymously (no name given) and confidential (no info released). You can call 1-800-230-PLAN to be connected automatically to the nearest Planned Parenthood, we are also in the phone book. The City and County health departments also test, along with other private facilities such as Montrose Clinic. You can look in the blue pages (front of the book) of the business phone book for City of Houston Health Department locations, or Harris County Health Department locations, or write back with a area of town, and I'll refer you to a convenient location. Wear a condom!!!! Protect yourself!!!

Q. can you recieve herpes semplex 2 from kissing?
A. Herpes is a virus that affects both genital and non-genital sites. There are 2 types - type 1 which is non-genital (cold sores on mouth) and type 2 - genital. But, type 1 or 2 may be found in the mouth or genital area adn that is why someone can get genital herpes from oral and vaginal sex. If you kiss someone - mouth to mouth - it is unlikely you'd get type 2, but may get type 1. Stick to kissing, your risks are low.

Q. Is testing for STDs and HIV done anonymously, or do you have to give your name and other such information. How much does it cost? How long does it take?
A. Here at Planned Parenthood in Houston, HIV testing/counseling is anonymous (you don't give any name) or confidential (you can use your name, but the results are kept confidential), you choose. The cost is $5.00, or free to those who can't pay. It takes about 30 minutes, and you will come back in person for results in about two weeks.
For STD/STI testing, you need to give "a name", and you need an appointment. It takes, maybe 1-2 hours, depending on the tests to run. The cost also varies depending on the number of tests run.
For an appointment at the clinic nearest you call 1-800-230-PLAN. They may transfer you to a different staff member to make your appointment for HIV testing.
It is very important to be tested.

Pregnancy:
Q. How old do you have to be to get an abortion without your parents finding out?
A. It depends on what State you are in. Planned Parenthood strongly encourages any young woman to talk to a parent or a responsible adult if she is facing an unplanned pregnancy. You can call 1-800-230-PLAN nationwide to be connected to the nearest Planned Parenthood and they can tell you what the laws are for their state.

Q. My friend is 14 years old is worried because she hasn’t had her period yet and she worried that she might be pregnant. what is Texas law regarding a 14 year old having an abortion, and does she have to have parental consent?
A. This is a loaded question and sounds like you 14 year olds need some adult guidance. Who is the adult in your or your friends life that you can talk to? No, at this time one does not have to have parental consent for an abortion, BUT, 14 is very young to be making decisions completely alone. We strongly urge her to involve her parents or other trusted relative so that she has the support and help she will need.

Q. i think i may be pregnant. my partner and i did not have intercourse, but he did ejaculate near the entrance of my vagina. i want to talk to my physician to discuss my options. i am a minor. can i talk to her without my parents knowing? worried in texas.
A. If semen gets on your vulva, then you are at risk of pregnancy - so I'm glad you are seeking advice. Also, if you are petting that heavy, it is time to make some serious decisions about protecting yourself, deciding how far to go, and negotiating your limits with your partner. Any clinic that gets federal funding will give you confidential reproductive health care. That could be a city or county health clinic, or a Planned Parenthood. Call 1-800-230-PLAN for the Planned Parenthood closest to you.

Q. What happens to the body when you first know that your pregnant... other than morning sickness, tender in the breast, Is there any other physical evidence?
A. Skipping the period, possibly feeling nauseated, breast tenderness and fatigue are some of the most common signs. That's about it until the weight gain begins.

Q. I am 8 weeks pregnant. (home test) I have been told that I have a few weeks to decide what I am going to do. I need to know how big it is at this time. Will there be any pain? Can my parents stop me if I choose to abort? How much time from school will I miss? How much does it cost? My parents are out of town for a couple of days so please answer as soon possible.
A.You do not say how old you are and you have some big questions and a big decision to make. We recommend you tell your parents so that they can help you through this difficult time.
At eight weeks since your last menstrual period (LMP), the fetus is 1/2 to 3/4 of an inch. The abortion procedure can be done with an IV sedation, so that there isn't much pain during the procedure, but some mild discomfort after. You can go back to school the day after the procedure. The cost is about $350 & up, depending on where you go. This is a big decision, don't make it all alone - but it is your decision and at this time in Texas, you do not have to have your parents consent.

Q. I am 15, and have had protected sex a few times. My problem is that I have friends who are having sex alot, and could be pregnant, one hasn't started her period in awhile, and has weird stuff happen to her. She has unprotected sex. What about abortion? What advice can you give?
A. Have your friend take a pregnancy test, or better yet, go to a family planning clinic for a test. Once there, she can talk to a counselor about future birth control if she is not pregnant, or her options if she is pregnant. Abortion is safe and legal and ONE of her options if she is pregnant.
For yourself, if you continue to be sexually active, be sure you continue to use protection every time. You may want to visit a clinic also! Without knowing where you are writing from, we can't refer to a specific location. There are Planned Parenthood's nationwide, and you can call 1-800-230-PLAN and be automatically connected to the Planned Parenthood nearest you.

Q. Please let me know where they are doing clinical trials on Ru 486. My daughter needs an abortion and she does not want to have a vacumn aspiration one if it is possible for her to get RU 486. We are willing to travel, even out of the US if necessary. I live in Houston and can stop by your offices south on 45 or on Fannin if you would prefer I do that. My daughter is not in Houston, but can travel here if necessary. Thank you for your help.
A. Contact our Surgical Services department at 713/535-2400, or long distance at 1-800-831-6538.

Sexuality Education
Q. I have to write a research paper on the topic "should the abortion procedure be taught to medical students." I can't seem to find anything that fits that topic exactly, and it's making this frustrating! Could you refer me to any good sites for some info? thank you!
A. Call Medical Students for Choice, you can reach them through the National Abortion Federation. 202/667-5881. Medical Students for Choice may have a website as well.

Q. Do you have any web pages that I can go to with my kids and teach them about the causes and effects of sex? And do you have any information on what schools are teaching kids about sex? (age taught at, details of what they are teaching etc.), and do you have any information on what schools are not teaching about sex education?
I need any thing books, articles, magazines, or videos; please help. My kids are asking me questions and I want to give them a straight answer to what they want to know.
A. Planned Parenthood Federation of America has sexuality education information on their website, located at www.plannedparenthood.org
If you e-mail us your address, we can mail you a bibliography and some brochures. If you are in Houston, we'll send you a video catalogue. Schools teach very different depending on where they are. Some give alot of information, others teach nothing.

Q. Hi. I am doing a research paper for my Government class. My topic is health class in public schools and the effects of government in regulating what can and cannot be taught. I now many social groups act to keep contraception or simply sex education out of the curriculum of schools, but I am having trouble finding useful information. Where can I look to find some more data for my project? I would be very grateful if you could help me. Thanks, sincerely, D.
A. Look at these two websites for more information.
www.siecus.org
www.plannedparenthood.org

Q. I am doing a causal analysis in English on the effects of distributing condoms in schools and would like to know your views.
A. Making condoms available in the nurses office can be very helpful to sexually active teens. I do believe that sexuality education is a MUST for the school if condoms are given out and are expected to be used correctly and responsibly.

Q. I'm sorry, I'm not a teen. I'm a non-traditional (translation: older, female) psychology student. I've just started working on a project to develop a new sex education curriculum to use in schools.
What I'd really LIKE to do is teach teens ways that they can open lines of communication with their parents. All of the research I've read so far indicates that both teens and parents would prefer to talk openly and honestly, but it seems like both sides are afraid to get started. I know your organization has done some terrific things to help parents feel more comfortable. I wonder if you are know of any existing programs that approach the difficulties from the other direction? (I love your "interview your parent" idea.) Any help that you can give would be greatly appreciated.
A. Planned Parenthood Federation's new video "Talking About Sex a Guide for Families" is designed to be watched as a family to help young people get their questions answered. A workbook is included in the package. It is available from most Planned Parenthood Education offices, or you can order it from their website at: www.plannedparenthood.org

Q. I would like to find some clinical studies on Childhood Masturbation but have not had much success on the web. If you can point me to a direction or recommend a book, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your help
A. check out this website:
www.crha-health.ab.ca/hlthconn/items/masturb.htm

Q. I have a boy and a girl about the same age. They both asked me how the sperm enters the female and fertilizes the egg. my wife, me, and both of them take showers together. when in the shower should i tell him (also by pointing) that the penis (point to my penis) goes into my wife's vagina (point to the vagina)? after the explanation i am going to tell them that that is sex and you should never do it until you get married. So should I?
A. Your pre-teen children would be better served by using books, not your own body to teach! As I told you in our last correspondence, get a book that is age appropriate. Do not tell them about you and your wife's sexual life. Call Planned Parenthood for an appropriate pamphlet or get a book written for pre-teens.

Q. I am a father of a 12 year old girl. Her mother and I are trying to teach her about sex education. Should I show her oral sex, anal sex, and the regular sex in bed with my wife while she is watching??
A. NO. No matter what age she is, that would be traumatic and inappropriate. There are age appropriate books for a 12 year old that include puberty information, how we get pregnant, and how to protect herself from disease and pregnancy.
Parents can be very helpful in talking to their teens and giving factual information. PLEASE DO NOT EXPOSE HER VISUALLY TO YOUR BEHAVIORS. She does not need to know what behaviors you and your wife engage in. She should not be exposed to explicit movies of behaviors. A 12 year old needs an understanding of responsible relationships not an exposure to exhibitionism. Get her a book such as "It's Perfectly Normal" by Robbie Harris at Planned Parenthood or a bookstore.

Q. I would like to know if it is the parents responsibility to teach sex education or is it the teachers? in your opinion.
A. I think both! Parents are the primary sexuality educators and role models for young people. But, schools can teach the material to the peer group and follow a curriculum that helps the students: *practice refusal skills, *learn basic factual information, * set a group norm for responsible behavior. Parents need the help of schools and institutions reinforcing healthy factual sexual messages. Parents should look for teachable moments to the facts, the feelings and the family values and attitudes throughout the child's growing years.

Q. Do you think sex education should be taught in schools? Please justify your answer.
A. Yes. We support comprehensive sexuality education programs. Young people today experience complex personal and social situations at early ages, placing them at risk for HIV/AIDS, other STDs and unplanned pregnancy.
There is intense debate over the content and efficacy of both "comprehensive" and "abstinence-only" sexuality education curricula. "Comprehensive" programs promote abstinence as the best choice for prevention of pregnancy and disease, but also provide accurate information about contraceptive use and disease prevention. "Abstinence-only" programs teach that abstinence is the only acceptable means for adolescents to prevent pregnancy and disease and do not provide contraceptive information. Some "abstinence-only" curricula are fear-based, focusing on negative consequences rather than responsible behavior.
Abstinence-only supporters argue that comprehensive sexuality education encourages teens to engage in sexual intercourse. A World Health Organization review of 19 international studies evaluating sexual behavior of students exposed to comprehensive sexuality education revealed that program participants did not engage in earlier or increased sexual activity. In fact, six indicated "either delay in the onset of sexual activity or a decreased in overall sexual activity." Ten studies showed increased safer sex practices by youth engaging in sexual intercourse. So yes, we think teens deserve honest information to help them make good decisions.

Q. Respected Sir/Madam
I am from India, where Sex is a prohibited area for discussion. Only yesterday I told about the sexual intercourse to my 16 years old daughter. She is very much disturbed to learn the definition given in the dictionary "the action of man inserting his penis into a woman's vagina". She says "How is it possible to undress oneself in front of a man even one's husband." "It is very shamefull act" "I am unable to understand this ugly process" "Even the thought of this is disturbing me like anything". Please Help
A. Start the discussion over. Tell your daughter of the joys and pleasures one can get from intimate physical and emotional sharing with someone she loves. Explain to her that the body is given to us as a gift, and that it is beustiful - all of it. The act of lovemaking is learned and the definition she read of it seems as if it would hurt. Love making is slow, sharing, and pleasurable. Explain that as she matures and falls in love, she will experience feelings of desire to kiss and touch and eventually to feel comfortable to be naked with someone. This is a process of learning. Loving is not shameful. You can write us again with specific questions.

The Male Body
Q. I am a 10 year old male and many older girls like me (13-15) I wondered if it was normal?
A. Maybe you are a very fun person and that sounds wonderfully normal. But, don't let older girls try to get you to do things that teens might do - like kiss. It is better to have kids your own age because your interests and life experience are similar. Older kids have more experience and puts you at a disadvantage. If you want to be more specific about what like means - write us back.

Q. I am a 22 year old male. I am seeking advice on condom usage. I am uncircumcised and I was wondering if that makes any difference on how to use a condom or with sensitivity. I was wondering if I could come in and talk with someone about this or perhaps other alternatives of birth control. Any information you could provide would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
A. Pushing the foreskin back as you roll on the condom may help and adding a little water based lubricant inside the tip may help. Don't add too much or it may slip off. In your question about alternative contraception, you do not state if you are asking about male or female contraception. The condom is the only protection available for sexually transmitted infection and for the male taking the responsibility. For the female there are a number of contraceptive methods including the pill, the Depo shot, diaphragm, contraceptive jellies, film and creams, norplant and the IUD. To talk to someone at a clinic close to you call 1-800-230-PLAN.

Q. This is my question I am an 11 year old boy. I want to know what is happening to my body. I was shocked when i read about the 11 year old boy that wanted to have sex with his girl friend on your website. Another thing i wanted to ask about was masturbation. At what age do you get sperm and how do you masturbate. I would also like to talk to my dad about this but i am to shy could you give me any tips?
A. Boy's bodies mature at different rates and a boy may make sperm somewhere between 10 and 15. He will have his first ejaculation through masturbation or in a "wet dream". In a "wet dream" sperm comes out of the penis during sleep. It does not mean someone has a sexy dream, but rather it just happens because his body is changing.
People masturbate differently. It is simply rubbing one's penis in a way that feels pleasurable. It would be very good to talk to your dad about your questions. He was your age once and I bet he too was embarassed to ask questions. Start the conversation with:
How did you feel when your body starting changing?
Did you like the way you looked when you were my age?
Who did you go to when you had questions about your body changing?
Maybe this will help open the door for more conversation. Our parents really want to help us,but they are some times embarassed to talk about sex. Help break the ice and invite the conversation.

Q. When I have sex, as soon as I put my penis into my girlfriends vagina I ejaculate and become limp, why is this and what can I do about it?
A. It is common for some males to have ejaculation before they want to. There are techniques of trying to think of something else to slow the process down, or squeezing the penis shaft right before you feel like you are going to ejaculate, slowing down and then starting up again. This squeezing technique teaches you to anticipate when the ejaculation is coming and being able to control it. It may take several times of squeezing and starting over again before your body learns this new response. Talk to your partner and she might be willing to help you by squeezing for you, or this excercise can be done alone. This techniques is written up in books on male sexuality and premature ejaculation. It can be helped.

Q. I think my penis is too small. I am 15 and I have gone through all of my growth spurts and have stopped growing. Yet my penis hasn't grown much. How large is an average penis for age 15? What is the size of an avarage adults penis? Does the length of the penis affect sexual feeling for a partner? and what about the size? Thanks for your help.
For fully grown men the average erect penis size is 5 1/2 or 6 inches. It really doesn't matter in sexual feelings. Men worry more about penis size than women do.
Penises differ in size and shape. Some are longer, some shorter; some curve or bend to the right, some to the left, some not at all; Some point upward when erect, some downward, some just straight out. Although penises differ in size, there is less variation among hard penises than among soft ones because a smaller soft penis will increase in size during erection than a larger soft penis. Nonetheless, there is still some variation and there's nothing that can be done about that - and it really doesn't matter.

Q. I’m 13 in 3 weeks and very developed for my age. My voice has already changed, I have quite a bit of acne, quite a bit of pubic hair and anal hair, way more than any of my friends. In my sex-ed. book, there was something to measure your testicles, and i believe that they are going to grow a whole lot more, although, when erect, my penis is 7.5 in. that is pretty big.... even for an adult. Anyway i want to know since my testicles r going to grow a lot more, is my penis going to grow anymore (if so, about how much) and when is my voice gonna return to normal??? thank you.
A. You are in the throws of puberty - there is no way to predict online how big any of your body parts will be. A doctor (pediatrician) can help you determine how much more you will grow. Be patent and it will all be perfectly normal for you and your particular body size.

Q. My husband doesn't have any pre-ejaculate. Is this normal? Can it be corrected?
A. The pre-ejaculate are the clear drops that come out of the penis before ejaculation. If you or your husband have concerns about the ejaculate, I can only recommend you seek the advice of an urologist.

Q. I'm curious, I want to know if it is okay to go without wearing underwear becuase I have not worn any for a month now to school or anything. I love the feeling--please reply and tell me what it does to me. George.
A. Dear Curious George,
As long as your jeans, pants, or other clothing is not rough or irritating, I think "no underwear" won't do anything to you. But be very careful with zippers or dresses (depending on your gender).

Q. I am married and sometimes I think I have an allergy to my husband if you know what I mean. After sex, if I don't immediately clean out I begin to itch. Sometimes even during intercourse I have an aweful itch. What can I do? This lproblem is interfering with my marriage. thanks
A. This is a problem that needs to be addressed in a physical exam. I couldn't guess with any accuracy about what might be going on. Foam, jellies, condoms, or any number of things could cause an allergic reaction or inflamation. It could also be in infection - either way, get it checked out. If you don't have a health care provider, or are looking for a new one, you can call 1-800-230-PLAN to be automatically connected to the Planned Parenthood nearest you.

Q. What is the approx. size of a childs penis at the age of twelve? What is the approx size of a twelve year olds penis when erect? And how old are you approx. when you star ejaculating? How do I cope with being horny? Is there anything wrong with getting a blow-job? I get at least 7 erections a day, is there something wrong with me, or does every boy get this?
A. Relax, you are normal! Your body is changing, your hormones are starting to turn you young body into a teen and then young adult. Erections are very normal. The size of the penis may not enlarge until after you have pubic hairs and have had a growth spurt. Don't worry, it will grow - no penis is too small!
Enjoy your sexual feelings - but do not think that you need to act on these feelings. A "blow job" would mean you are using someone else to give you pleasure. You can safely cope with your sexual feelings by masturbating. Males start ejaculating at different times - 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 - we are all different!
If you send you address, we can send you a booklet on understanding your changing body. Good Luck - enjoy your changes.

Q. I have a few questions. How long before ejaculation does pre-ejaculation occur? How much sperm is in the pre-ejaculation? Also, my boyfriend was born with Cryptorchidism (born with his scrotum still inside his body) and was a preemie, and I was wondering what his chances were of being infertile? And what is the difference between infertile and sterile? J. in CA.
A. You have some very interesting questions that are hard to answer. There can be sperm in the pre-ejaculate that comes before ejaculation, but the timing between pre-ejaculation and ejaculation varies. The male is not able to control the pre-ejaculation that can come very easily in sexual arousal. It is important to know that sexually transmitted diseases can be concentrated in the pre-ejaculation.
As for your boyfriend being sterile (which is essentially the same as being infertile - not being able to impregnate the female) it depends on when his testicles were brought down into the scrotum. I can't answer this - but ASSUME he has plenty of sperm! Thanks for writing!

Q. Why is one of my testicles smaller than the other? and is that normal? Thank you
A. Yes, it can be normal for one side of any part of the body to be smaller than the other - hands, breasts, testicles. Since you do not say how much smaller one testicle is - it would not be possible to assess your condition. If it concerns you, a doctor could quickly answer your concerns with a physical exam. There is a concern if the testicles are undescended into the scrotal sac and of course a concern if there are tumors that can be felt in the testes. Planned Parenthood in Houston (as well as many other PP's around the nation) offers many services for males, including checking for testicular cancer. Call 1-800-230-PLAN to be connected to the Planned Parenthood nearest you.

Drug Interactions:
Q. I have a general question, don't know if you can answer it or find me an answer but if you could I'd appreciate it. Can the prescription drug Vicadin affect a female while she's on the pill ? (Does this drug render the pill inefective or increase the chance of pregancy ?)
A. Many drugs do interfere with the effectiveness of birth control pills, so we took this question to our Vice President of Medical Services, who told us you can take Vicodin with birth control pills, and here is why: The pain killer Vicodin is an Opoid + analgesic, hydrocodone bitartrate. It will not interfere with birth control pills, but there are things to watch out for - it can be addictive; you should take it with food; avoid alcohol and other sedative/drowsiness substances; and it may cause blurred vision or drowsiness. Long-term use can cause constipation.
Every medication can have side effects, make sure you notify your health care provider if any of the following occurs: drowsiness, dizziness, blurred vision, nausea, vomiting, constipation, difficulty breathing, rash, yellowing of the skin. (We took this information from "Facts and Comparisons" patient drug information in collaboration with American Nurses Association.)

Q.Would Prozac interfere with oral contraceptives? T.
A. No, but be aware that there are other drugs that are or may be a problem if taken with Prozac, and there are other drugs that may be a problem if taken with oral contraceptives. Any time you take a new drug, ask your clinician or pharmacist about interference with oral contraceptive pills (OCP's) or any other prescription you may be taking. Antibiotics are a common problem with OCP's, and with many new drugs coming on the market, you need to always ask.

Sexuality and Orgasms:
Q. Dear so and so, I'm 13 years old and I would like to know the difference between anal and oral sex. I've asked this question many times but I want details. I'm a female.
A. Well, the difference between oral sex and anal sex is quite simple. Anal sex is sexual activity in which the penis is inserted into the anus. The anus is the opening through which we have bowel movements. Oral sex is using the mouth to stimulate the penis (male) or vulva/vagina (female). Does that answer it?

Q. Hello, I'm 15/F who has been with her boyfriend for 10 mos I love him with all my heart ans we were best friends before anything else. I'm a virgin and so is he. I want to have sex with him buy I have a few questions to ask 1) how long does sex last?? 2) should we do stuff after we do it or just get up and get dressed 3) should we move around alot and kiss and touch each other and 4) should I make noises?
A. I think you have alot to think about before you have sexual intercourse. Are you really ready for the changes that can happen in a relationship when you introduce sex? Worrying aobut pregnancy, Sexually Transmitted Infections, am I doing it right, will he still love me next week, next month, next year, if not, then how will I feel? It sounds as thought the relationship is going quite well without sexual intercourse. How about you and your boyfriend discussing the option of putting it off for at least a year and just continue being close without added worries. Can you talk to your parents about sex? Your questions indicate you are not ready for the intimacies of sexual intercourse. The length of time it takes, the sounds we make and what to do afterwards will not be questions when you are ready. You will feel mature and confident enough to know it is right and what you do naturally is right. But, do not have sex without the protection of a condom and a birth control method - the pill, depo, or other device. Call a family planning clinic in your area before you have sex - get protected and get good advice. For the closest Planned Parenthood call 1-800-230-PLAN. Good Luck, and give waiting alot of consideration - there is no rush - you've got your whole life to have sex.

Q. Hey there, I'm 16, and I have a question, My bf has that fantasy...he wants to pee while penetration (that means to pee in me) is it dangerous? It seems a bit weird but fun to try...I just wanted to ask... And what should I do after? Any special shower or something?
A. Thanks for the question. Urine can carry various sexually transmitted infections so it is risky behavior that you describe. Any time you have sexual behavior without a condom you are putting yourself at risk for disease - your asking the question shows you are thinking and having valid concerns. Trust your gut and don't put yourself at risk by playing others' fantasies. Picture yourself healthy!!!

Q. HI. I am 21 and my SO (significant other) And I are wondering where to find the G spot. Thank you for your time.
A. Dear 21 year old, There is controversy about the existence and function of the G-spot. One area of the vagina that may be particularly sensitive in some women is called the G-spot. If it exists, it is located in the anterior vaginal wall near the urethra. That would be in the first third of the vagina on the upper wall. Again, there is no conclusive research on the function and existence of this spot.

Q. Hi i was just woundering how should the sex act take place so that the girl doesn’t feel like that is all i want her for?
A. If sex is not all you want from a girl, then it is in your actions that she knows you really care about her. The way you are attentive, communicative and caring. Doing things together that do not involve sex is very important. Sharing fun together. If you truly love her, you will know how to let her know. If it is only sex, be honest with yourself and her. Caring means being responsible -- a condom every time!!!

Q. Last week I have had an abortion at the same time the doctor put an IUD. Now my husband and I wants to know when can we have intercourse again without any risks of any kind. (I've forgot to ask the doctor) Can we have anal sex, oral or masturbate?
Thanks
A. After an abortion, it is very important that nothing go into your vagina for three weeks (because of risk of infection, not contraction/orgasm). Anal sex, oral sex, or masturbation is fine, but make sure the vagina is not entered. It is also advisable to have a three week check up to make sure everything is okay!

Q. Hi...I'm a 15 year old girl but my breasts are still not round all my friends have round breasts...mine are big but without a shape. What can I eat or drink or what kind of bras should I wear ? And I have another question...I've had sex before and It was good...several times in fact...but me and my b-friend recently broke-up... I wanted to continue pleasing myself but I never masturbated ...can you give me some tips of how to masturbate without using a vibrator, maybe some other objects I dunno...anyway Thank u for ur advice !
A. All of us have different body shapes and there is no food or drink that will change the shape of your breasts. A wel- fitted bra will give them a rounded look. Go to a store where a sales person can help you try on several types - a slight padding will give them a rounded look. But, rounded is not better - just different.
People masturbate in different ways. Some use their hands and fingers to rub the clitoris and vulva while others may rub with a pillow or soft object. Some use water from the shower head or shower massage. There is not one way to pleasure yourself - be careful not to put anything inside that could harm you.

Q. Hello...I have actually two questions:
I wanted to know why do I have a thick yellow kinda gelly on my underwear an hour or so after I masturbate…is it the way I masturbate or is it normal?
And I wanted to know...I had sex a day ago with a guy that I hardly knew...Due that I masturbate I did it before we had sex so does getting to that point turn em on while I pleasure myself ?
A. It is normal & necessary to have a discharge when you are sexually aroused either alone or with a partner.
It concerns us that you were sexual with a guy you "hardly knew". There are many diseases spread by sexual activity, please be very careful. Also, when we don't know someone well, they may take advantage of us and cause us harm. Our Sexually Transmitted Disease brochure can be found on our website at http://www.pphouston.org/stdtable.htm
Be careful.

Q. My question is simple. How do you french kiss?
A. A french kiss is an open mouth kiss where each partner inserts his/her tongue in their other person's mouth. Simple!

Q. I am an 11 year old boy. I have had a girlfriend for three months now. We have kissed a few times but it never got really physical until yesterday. I came home with her and my parents were not home. We went in my bedroom and started kissing. I asked her if she could give me a blowjob. We talked about it the other day when we saw it on a movie. She agreed so I pulled down my pants and she gave me a blow job. I felt a little guilty afterwards because i know I am kind of young. The problem is that it felt SO good. PLEASE HELP!!! I really want to have real sex with my girlfriend now because we have both seen each other naked. My question is that I know that I have not fully gone through puberty yet so could anything happen if we did have sex? I know we are young but I really like our relationship. Also how old should a kid be before he does get a blowjob because I thought I was too young but it felt really good so I guess I wasn't. PLEASE ANSWER!!! -Anonomos
A. Thank you for writing and yes you are WAY TOO YOUNG for the type of sexual activity you are engaged in. This is not a relationship - it is simply using someone else to give your body pleasure. Mature sexual relationships are built on trust, honesty and pleasure for both partners. Your "girlfriend's" age was not included in the email. Respect her enough not to ask her home when your parents are not home and do not ask her to simply give you pleasure. Find ways to enjoy each other with your clothes on.
These are the years of learning about how to enjoy girls - sex of any kind is for when you are older. You ask if anything can happen if you have sex - as soon as you make sperm and white ejaculate comes out of your penis you can get someone pregnant if that ejaculate gets in her or on the lips of her vagina. PLEASE WAIT!!! and slow down and be a kid.

Q. My boyfriend and I were fooling around one night, and he fingered me. This wasn't the first time he had done it so I was pretty used to it, but this time he was pressing really hard. Right after he left I got my period which was unusual because I wasn't supposed to get it for another 8 days. Could he have caused me to get my period by fingering me really hard???
A. Thanks for writing. Was it a period that lasted 3-5 days or just some spotting right after the sexual activity? Fingering can't cause a period, but it might tear some tissue and cause spotting. Stay safe and be careful.

Q. I have a question. I'm 13/male. When you start to have sex, what happens? Like, does the female open her legs and the male just slide his penis in, or do you start kissing and rolling around and once you get your penis in you start humping her? Also, what is the male supposed to do during intercourse? Like does he kiss his partner, or lick her breasts, or just hump her till her eyes pop out?
A. Please don't hump her until her eyes pop out!! What you describe would not be very pleasant for her. So let's start at the beginning. A female must be sexually aroused by kissing and touching and slowly being pleasured. Her vagina must get very moist before she is ready to receive a penis. The kissing and touching is the main part of sexual pleasure that helps the woman lubricate. Insertion of the penis in the vagina is only one part of the total experience of love making. Don't rush this. Spend some years learning to kiss and touch - you've got a life time for the other!!

Q. Many times I have been put in a very uncomfortable situation. I've been pressured to have sex. I don't want to be sexually active, but it seems like one thing leads to another, the guy becomes aggressive, and before you know it, you're in a very uncomfortable situation. The only thing I'm confused about is my virginity. Some would disagree on the fact that I am a virgin. The farthest I've gone is The penis has slipped inside for a second and then I made the guy stop because I didn't want to have sex. How can a second equal sex or virginity? I also have another question. I understand that you can still get pregnant even if this occurrence was the case. But, if this happened the day after your period was over, you wouldn’t ovulate until two more weeks (or close to that) and if you did have sperm inside you it wouldn't be fertilized because they die in two days. So my question is, are you still at any risk of being pregnant? These questions are very important so I would appreciate a very descript and accurate answer. Thank you.
A. You sound very smart and well informed on reproduction. I don't know if there is one universal definition of virginity. The hymen is tissue over the entrance to the vagina and when the penis enters it, it usually tears the tissue and there is some blood. This is one thing that can happen at first intercourse, but not all girls have the tissue - so it is not always going to bleed.
"Slipping in for a second" - how far? Even if the penis touches the lips of the vagina, the sperm in the pre-ejaculate can swim inside and put you at risk for pregnancy. You're right, ovulation is often a week or two after the period - but NOT ALWAYS. So some girls may ovulate right after the period and sperm can live 3 to 5 to even 7 days! So - NO MORE "SLIPPING IN", unless there is a condom. The "morning after pill" can be given within 72 hours of unprotected "slipping in" to be certain not to be pregnant.

Now, most important is how are you telling the guy NO? Tell him up front how far you plan to go, and don't let him go further. If you say NO and he "slips in" - that is sexual abuse. Be sure you TELL HIM what you will and will not do. Stay out of situations where you do not have complete control to stop yourself or him from doing what you don't want to do. Don't go out with "aggressive" guys. If you don't want to have sex - don't. If you do, only do it with protection - meaning birth control and a condom. Decide how far you feel comfortable going and be very clear with yourself and your partner!

Q. Hi, this may be a weird question, but I know I'm not the only person who would like this answered. I'm a 22yr old female and I sometimes engage in anal sex with my husband. My question is: can you do any physical damage? Sometimes I will be slightly sore afterwards, but it always goes away quickly and I haven't noticed any problems. I think this would be a good question for the answer page because I didn't see any other questions dealing with anal sex, and I know of a few other people who would also like to know.
A. Anal sex is a common sexual practice between couples. Lubrication is essential. Using a good water based lubricant can help prevent tissue damage (lubricate the penis or the condom). The tissues can tear or bleed because there is no natural lubrication. You write as a husband and wife, for couples engaged in anal sex, not in mutually monogamous relationships, it is important to know that anal sex is high risk behavior for spreading HIV. Condoms and lubrication are essential.

Q. How do you have sex?
A. People show affection and intimacy in many forms of sexual behavior from kissing to touching to forms of sexual intercourse. Your question is too broad to answer on the internet. There are books available, look for them in your local bookstore, or through one of the online bookstores such as Barnes & Noble or Amazon.

Other
Q. My Priest says that if we don’t have sex we can’t get cervical cancer, so I’ve never had a Pap test. Do I need one? I’m thirty-something.
A. Yes. All women, over the age of 18, sexually active or not, should have a yearly annual exam.

Q. My friend is worried his girlfriend is underage and doesn’t think he should take her to pp. He is afraid of be reported to the cops for his g/f being underage.
A. You are right. If we know that a teen is having sex with someone 3 years older, it is our duty to report to CPS. But, anyone having sex needs contraception and to be checked for sexually transmitted infections. She should go.

Q. dear whomever, i am a 14/f and my boyfriend is a 17/m we love each other and are thinking about having sex after i turn 15 and we have been going out for 6 months my question is when he turns 18 will we still be able to legally have sex or will it be statutory rape my boyfriend says that it will only be if i am still a virgin and when he is 18 and i am not he takes away my virginity but i am not sure i know if we have sex we will have it more than once and i am prepared to get the most protection available but i need to know if it will be legal because i don't want to do anything to jeopardize his future which will surely be a successful one. Hopelessly in Love
A. Actually, you are a minor until you are 18 and according to the Austin Abuse hotline if your parents found out you had sex with an 18 year old they could prosecute the partner. Statutory rape laws are about age only. Whether you have had sex before does not matter. So that is an answer to that part of your question. Your concern about being protected is VERY important. I don't think you sound ready to engage in sexual intercourse from your short email and I encourage you to wait till you're older. A boy 3 years older is really at a different place than you are and though you are "hopelessly in love" now, how will you feel when it ends and you have had sex. If you decide to then get birth control and be sure he uses a condom - you may not be his first and he may have sexually transmitted infections he or you do not know about. Be careful, be wise. Wait!

Q. I have been to Planned Parenthood twice and I'm very impressed and thankful for it. I've just moved and recently I have seen people (sometimes just 1, sometimes up to about 50) walking outside of the Planned Parenthood, with signs and such protesting abortion and the clinic. This makes me so irritated and it intimidates me to ever go to the clinic, and I'm sure other people feel the same way. How can that be legal and is there anything that can be done to stop it?
A. Thank you for your support and concern. We have guards and escorts for our clients at Planned Parenthood so we believe they are safe. It is very irritating that people need to voice their opinions in our face. Many women are coming for mammograms, pap smears, family planning and other important health care needs. The protesters don't seem to understand this. The law protects us some, but freedom of speech allows them to voice their opinion.

Q. I've always wondered this of the female body. When a female urinates is it a interupted trickle or a stream (like a male). My friend says it's a stream but I don't feel right questioning her answer. Don't the lips interrupt urination or is there a clear path? Do the lips spread when they squat?
A. It's a stream like a male.

Q. Does Planned Parenthood encourage poor women to have abortions?
A. No. We believe reproductive health care should be available to all, and be voluntary.

Q. Hi, I am a 17 year old female. I am very nervous about my first pelvic exam!!!! Can you please describe a pelvic exam and a pap smear in specific detail so I know what to expect. Whenever I go to the gyn for a physical I get nervous days before I go just because of the fact that they will be touching my vagina and now even worse because they go inside. Please describe all the exams in good detail and tell me what I might be able to do when at the doctor and before the appointment to not be as nervous and more comfortable. Thanks!

A. What does the GYN exam include? Schedule you routine GYN exam for a time when you will not have your period - unless you are having bleeding patterns your clinican wants to observe. Don't douche for at least 24 hours before the appointment or use any other vaginal preparation. They can mask vaginal conditions.
Bring a list of all the questions and problems you want to talk about. You will need to know when the first day of your last period was, and how long do your periods last. You should talk about personal and family medical history, and sexual activity. The clinician may take a urine sample and your blood pressure. The clinician conducts a breast exam to check for lumps, thickening, irregularities, and discharge. (It's important to do routine breast self-exams between visits. If you do not know how to do this, ask the clinician.)
The clinician conducts a pelvic exam, which can detect abnormalities in the reproductive organs. (The patient will feel some pressure, but it shouldn't be painful. If you experience any pain or burning during the exam, let the clinician know.) The patient lies on the table and places her legs in stirrups or knee rests. To examine the cervix, the clinician gently inserts a sterile metal or plastic duck-bill shaped speculum into the vagina to separate the walls of the vagina so that the cervix can be seen. The clinician then swabs the cervix with a tiny brush for a Pap test, which shows whether any pre-cancerous or cancerous cells are present. After removing the speculum, the clinician inserts one or two gloved, lubricated fingers into the vagina and presses down on the lower abdomen with the other hand to examine the internal organs. You'll feel less tense if you breathe slowly and deeply with your mouth open, let your stomach muscles go soft, relax your shoulders, relax the muscles between your legs, and ask the clinician to describe what's being done as it's happening.
The clinician conducts a rectal exam, by inserting a finger into the rectum, to check for any possible tumors behind the uterus or in the rectum. You may feel as though you need to have a bowel movement this is normal and only lasts a few seconds.
After the exam you may discuss the results with your clinician, this is another opportunity to discuss contraceptive (birth control) options, concerns about sex and sexuality, sexually transmitted infections, or any other questions you may have.

Q. My girlfriend just tried to kill herself ... I don't know what to do. I really like this girl and she says she loves me but I don't know if I'm doing something wrong (very wrong) or if she's just fucked up. Help me. Please address on this answer page.
A. If you are in Houston, call Crisis Hotline at 713/228-1505 for help for your girlfriend. But, you need to tell her family if they do not know - this is very serious and she needs her family to get her help. If she tried once, she may likely try again. Tell her family right away. She is very disturbed. If her family is not responsive, call the local United Way in your community for a referral for help. Please write back.

Q. Just wanted to let you know that your site was very informative and helpful. My daughter is currently living in Baytown, TX and with the information I gleaned off of your site, hopefully she will be able to get to one of your clinics to be seen as a patient. I read the advocacy information that you had, along with the medical services, HIV/AIDS section, and the Vision and Mission - all wonderfully done. Thank you for being on the 'Net. The explanation of reproductive rights is excellent. I am copying it so I can counter the negative comments I received when I mention that I am pro-choice and I get responses like: oh, you must be a femi-nazi, or you kill babies, and other such pitiful remarks. Sincerely, BD
A. Thanks :) glad we could help.

Q. Just wanted to say that I really love your site! It has so much information. I have used Planned Parenthood - first in NJ, and now here is TX - and I really have to say that I always find the care provided top rate. (I've also gone to private ob/gyns and the only different I noticed was that the ob/gyns charge more and are harder to get appointments with.)
When I was in my local clinic (Dickinson) I noticed that they had some signs up about a funding problem. Is there a site with more info or can I get more info on where to write about this? I would hate to see Planned Parenthood get any funding cuts because they really do provide a necessary service to so many people. Thanks, KS
A. thanks :) Write your Local, State and National Legislators! We have volunteer & public affairs advocacy opportunities, call 713/522-6363 to find out about Houston area activities.

Q. I wonder if you can recommend me any clinic in McAllen or Laredo, TX.
A. You can call Planned Parenthood Association of Hidalgo County in McAllen at 210-686-0585. Also, you can call 1-800-230-PLAN and be connected to the clinic nearest to where you are calling from.