The new fast.

I bought a new car.
It's really fast. I got a VW GTI. I like it.
Did I mention it's fast? 'Cause it is.
I left home this morningat 8:20am and got to work in 1849.
Too too fast.
I don't even have a pick axe. So I was super bored this morning waiting for 2007 to start.

Don't worry, I made more.

More people.
Acutally, my sister made more people. I made more person.
But seriously, the person I made, is a really good person. Like the kind you dream about when you say, "Hey, let's make a person! I hope it'll be nice!"
The tiny person I made with my wife is very strong. There is no doubt she's supposed to be here. Even if she wasn' supposed to be here, I don't want to be the person who has to ask her to leave. She's tough.
Toughness aside, she seems like a very cool person. Doesn't say much tho. But by the stuff she's into, you can tell she's pretty interesting. Like red. She loves to look at red things. And window blinds. Loves blinds. I suppose she's here to redecorate the place. She's attempted to paint some cloth diapers we have a fine mustard color. Mustard is the new black anyway. So, really, that's pretty hip.
Oh and she parties like all the time. She's up all night drinking and yelling then passing out. I can't tell but I think those are white russians in that bottle. I would join in, but I have a job man. I gotta make a living.
So anyway, if you were bummed out about thinking maybe the world was going to run out of cool people, don't. I made more.

Get your saddness somewhere else!

I just read a bunch of blogs. They're all really sad most of the time. So I'm going to try to have a nice sunny dumb as a dog blog today. I will restore balance to the blogosphere.

Nice sunny dumb as a dog goes a little something like this:
Today at work, they had little sushi rolls during "Snack Attack". I finished mine in like 10 seconds and paused before throwing away my container. Why did I pause? I really wanted to drink my soy sauce dipping cup. Did I? No, I thought someone might see me.

Surprise!

I got an email last week telling me I was going to move out of my cube and then back into said same cube. I shrugged. I mean what do I care. I'm just the hired help.
So I come in to work on Tuesday and woah.
My little cube is now packed with 3 more desks. I now have a person sitting a foot and a half away. I went to move my mouse and ended up holding hands with some dude. This is crazy! I love my wife! Let go of my hand dude! This can not stand!
Then I noticed a familiar piece of tape that was on my desk was gone. Wha? This isn't my desk! It's a much smaller version of my desk! That's why my monitors are falling off the sides! Egads!

Sigh... Accept my reality.

I am veal. Here me roar.

Tasty

I put buffalo wing sauce on my Hamburger last night.
It wasn't the first time I've done this.
Everyone at the table thought this was a good idea too. So we all put wing sauce on our burgers, fries, and bread.

I think people like buffalo wing sauce a lot more than the wings.
Think about it.
You really want the sauce. The wing is just this tiny scarcely meated thing that after you try to pick it clean you really have to wonder, if it wasn't for that sauce, would have been worth the effort? Besides what do you do after you finish nibbling what little pieces of meat are on the wing? You lick your fingers. You know you want that sauce.

So I propose that some restaurant should just get it over with. Serve the sauce in a bowl with your choice of meat. Pork, beef, shrimp, chicken, everything...and a loaf of french bread. You have to have the bread. Dipping that bread in there is nice.
Oh don't forget the celery.
Mmmmmm...Tasty.

Converted

I converted my blog to the new Google Blogger instead of the old Blogger Blogger.
I have no idea what that means.
Which is odd.
I mean considering where I am sitting typing this post.
Honestly, you'd think I'd know.

BTW, have you ever read Coach's blog? It's a lot like hanging out with Coach but without the possibility he'll spontaneously get up and start cleaning up your yard to get in good with your wife. Coach once painted all the base boards in our POS rental house in Boston once. I'm not sure who he was getting in good with on that one. Prolly not me. I'm the guy who smashed cheese all over the exterior of the house while drunkenly practicing "slapshots" with my hockey stick. Nice base boards are not something I can appreciate.

Oddly, the base boards in my current house were put up by me. Not oddly, there were never painted with the final coat of paint per my handicap of being productively challenged. Un-painted base boards - Talk about an open invitation!

Kickey.

I joined a soccer team. An indoor soccer team. I played my first game last week. I was very nervous. The play was very fast and and looked like a good opportunity to trip and fall. I'm not especially good at falling, well scratch that. I'm not very good at landing. Falling, I'm great at. So there is a lot of action and running and stuff. I'm watching from the side and someone yells, "SUB!" and I'm pushed over the wall and out on to the floor. I'm running after the ball and my mouth has gone desert dry. Not dessert dry, mind you.
I get to the ball finally and my big dumb brain gets in the way with the fantastic idea, "Kick it off the wall!" and my body promptly boots the ball up over the wall and into the benches and out of play. Sweet. Good job brain. Like my brain knows anything about soccer anyway.