To Barbara Small

Why am I Here?

To Barbara Small

Why am I here Lord, what is my purpose in life?

I thought I knew what it was: my children, my wife.

My life was centered around them, and it was good

With them, I knew where my destiny stood.

You have given me so much joy and so much pain

Yet I resist putting on You the blame,

Lord, by faulting You there is no gain,

like blaming sunshine for rain...

But my life has been full of darkness and despair,

When will the sun come out, when will joy be there?

I know not when, why, where or how,

Though I wish it were here and now.

My Lord, my God, to You who never takes away,

without giving strength, grace or love,

without sending angels, disguised as friends, from above,

with all my soul, I pray.

I am Your servant, Your messenger, let it show!

How can I say in You I believe,

and not the Spirit in my face glow

With the light a million suns would weave?.

Do I understand Your will, Lord?

That Love is stronger than the sword,

Love born in a manger,

Who said give love, feel not danger.

Open my heart, my soul, my mind,

So that to others I can be kind.

He said, "If you do it in my name,

to Me, you do the same."

Now, I put my heart in your hand

My sorrow I buried in the sand,

With fire, my sins erased, my faith reborn,

My heart, no longer torn.

I am here Lord, let it be me,

For all the world to see,

Through my story,

I am witness of Your glory .

Sacramento, CA