by Boddhisatva Troutwaxer (tungtung@pacbell.net)
In the early winter of 1999I went to the supermarket for a few things and ended up walking out to the parking lot with a 50-ish Hispanic man. We engaged in light conversation until I opened the trunk and he saw the wheel chair.
"Who does that belong to?" he asked.
"Oh, that's my wife's," I said, "she was in an accident a few years ago and broke her pelvis."
"Oh, well, in that case, let me give you a copy of my arthritis cure." he said.
According to the peice of paper he gave me, one soaks a number of light colored raisens in gin for seven days, then pours the gin off. Afterward, one lets the raisens dry for seven days and eats seven of them a day. This is supposed to be the incredible miracle cure!! We went into the market and got a pen, just so he could write his name and phone number on the peice of paper (which is now a highly classified document in the files of the Troutwaxing Schism). He spelled it "BoB", just like the name is spelled on all those pages and newsgroups on the internet, so I knew that I had recieved an authentic visitation.
Rival schisms wanting a copy of the signed manuscript, complete with phone number, can keep sending me money until I decide you've paid enough, at which point I will xerox it and send it to your home address...
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