 Hold This Thread As I Walk Away
"My automobile is a piece of crap/ My fashion sense is a little wack... preppy girls never looked at me" sings Rivers Cuomo on the opening track and lead single for Weezer's fifth album, Beverley Hills. Bear in mind as you read those lyrics that he is thirty-five this year. This is before the incongruous 70’s style wah guitar solo after which the music fades to a piano and Cuomo speaks "The truth is, I don't stand a chance..." Factor in the ultra-repetitive music which and none-more-predictable chord progression and we're left scratching our heads at Weezer's apparent deliberate decision to regress to being Good Charlotte. This record as a whole is less sophisticated than their 1994 debut.
On Weezer's second album, Pinkerton, generally held to be their best, Cuomo wrote a very intense and autobiographical series of songs which led him to a bad mental place and he had a breakdown. Ever since then he's just stuck to inconsequential lyrics, which is fine, because on their third album he had bunches of great melodies well played. It was also over in under half an hour, not an ounce of fat on the tracks. The fourth album suggested that they were running thin on top shelf tunes, and despite the two year delay on Make Believe (it was originally meant to come out in 2003 but got scrapped and re-recorded and re-written) it showcases a band who seem to have totally forgotten how to stand out from the crowd.
Listen to Peace or The Damage In Your Heart and you'll struggle to find anything at all of interest. Some songs are even outright bad, like the interminable chugger Hold Me, where Cuomo actually sings "You are taller than a mountain, deeper than the sea." Does he just not care about sounding cliché? Maybe not, given that on We Are All On Drugs, an anti-drug rant so artless and hammy that it's unintentionally funny, he goes "And you show up late for school/ And you think you're really cool/ Cos you're on drugs." Then there's the deadly serious cry of "I WANT TO CONFISCATE YOUR DRUGS!" Haunt You Everyday, the album’s closer, is a try-hard attempt at a serious moment, which figures that the more you emphasise the minor key on the chorus, the sadder things are and entirely forgets to have a good performance or melody or rhythm or anything.
It's not all total pants - there are half-decent stabs at the sort of power-pop-rock they're famed for, such as Perfect Situation, My Best Friend, The Other Way (not about anal sex, sorry guys) and the 80’s synth-pop reminiscent This Is Such A Pity. But not one of them is fantastic; they just don't make the teeth grate like others here do.
This is the sound of a band all at sea who may have outlived their usefulness. On this record, they've struggled to sound relevant. This would receive indifference if it came from a new band, but compared to Weezer's past glories, it's a failure. That it had two years of re-tooling is embarrassing. As Cuomo sings here "What's the deal with my brain? / Why am I so obviously insane?" Don't know Cuomo, but if this is the best you can manage, maybe you do need a bit of song-writing therapy. |
